It is Feb. 04, 2007--2:53 AM. Why am I writing at this time one may ask---the answer is that I am not normal, meaning that I do not keep normal hours. When I started staying up till all hours of the morning is not clear to me. It is obvious though that whenever I revert to the hours commonly associated with the workings of the world---I quickly and easily slip back into the hours with which I am most comfortable. Surely I am not alone ---
Do you think back on the visions of your youth? Do you wonder at what point you made a decision that brought you closer to the place you are today? Would you make that same decision if you had had the knowledge of its consequences? Are you in step with your universal higher power's plan. Is it possible not to be in step???
My questions result from the fact that many things which I took for granted not only are non-existent but the threads that remain are quite tangled and gnarled. The impossibility to reweave even a fragment of the hope I once envisioned has become reality. I no longer can anticipate events and decisions or decisions and events in any given order. The ones I do anticipate are for the most part out of my control. Yet-strangely I am more peaceful and content than in the past. I believe it is because I have started to understand mentally and emotionally that I am not in control of any thing, person, or place except possibly me. Frankly--I believe I am not 100 % in control of me !! The eternal struggle of ''What If'' is becoming less. I am both happy & thankful for that.
Do you deal with these struggles???
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