Thursday, September 10, 2009

Wisdom verses Understanding

The wisdom that I have gained tonight is the complete understanding that the one cause and effect correlation that ALWAYS has the same outcome is
""""If the Power Button on ones' computer is hit whether intentionally or accidentally the computer will and does turn off. It matters not how many hours one has spent writing, how well one has written, or how little or more one has to write---all is lost. LOST DAMN IT!!~!
That's all fowlkes.""

Sunday, March 8, 2009

01 September 2007 to 08 March 2009

How Funny_____My last post was about waiting 6 months before writing again!!!!!!
Well now how about a year, 5 months, and 8 days!!!!! Why one could be led to think either my life or my brain were exceptionally dull. These are points on which I prefer not to elaborate, Thank You Very Much.

Writing a novel keeps entering my thoughts, possibly a sequel set.
Titles I have considered are---- Wicked Women; Vicious Vixens; Revenge of the Victim; My Sister, My Husband's Mistress; A Family's Demise in One Generation; Clueless Doesn't Cover It; If the Dog Could Talk, People Would Walk and many more.
Why the more I think about it--one setting could be a most pleasant neighborhood with children around the same age, going to the same school, participating in the same activities. This neighborhood is the old time All American setting as most of us understand it to be. The families spend hours and hours together as their children are growing up. They spend this time enjoying their children's activities and lives but they also socialize often with each other. The children grow up as siblings in many ways--each house is another home to each child. Yet---there is an underlying evil of relationship aggression, backstabbing, and belying that as the years past causes the victim's marriage to become a nightmare and destroys her health. It is a slow progression. Lies abound. To have undermining lies told hurt enough but the fact that they are believed is almost unbearable. Slights began as subtle, most remaining that way over the years. Slights that are well timed to ensure no one else but aggressor[s] and victim are aware of the rejection. Her husband tells her nothing has happened. Intuition as well as factual happenings tell her that they did. The results of the gossip become obvious to her. People avoid and exclude her. People who have not avoided or excluded her before. She begins to question her sanity, question if she has a life hidden to her. She wonders if she is going crazy--she fears it is so! How futile her struggle is UNTIL ...._________________________________________________________________________
Would you want to read it ???????

Another novel setting could or could not include neighborhood involvement but why not spread stories into more reading for you and more money for me! {Fun to imagine, isn't it?"}
Primary characters would be a couple and the wife's sister. Lots of secondly characters many of whom could be used in the sequel stories. After several years of marriage the wife suspects that her husband is being unfaithful. As most stories of this sort go--she immediately thinks of his secretary. This belief remains intact until several family members go on a trip. t Those included were this couple and the Sister & her husband along with others. One particular instant--and it was one act in one short instant-- alerted the wife to the relationship between her sister and her husband. The awareness leads to back flashes of curious situations. The connections, the signals, the times both not at home start surfacing to the consciousness. How clear the past becomes when it had only previously nagged at her head. Some things most of us do not allow ourselves to think. Your husband and Your Sister fit in this category.
The wife prepares to take action. She contacts both a detective and a lawyer. Within the preparation period a family emergency occurs which can not help but permanently divide her family of origin. Her decision to expose the marital triangle could and most likely would create an even greater division. A small child was involved. The child's future safety and happiness was at stake. For the sake of the child the wife allowed her name and reputation to be smeared. The worse she looked the less anyone would think of her husband abandoning ''the slutty wife' for the 'sweet, innocent until now' sister. The wife, who had been totally faithful to her husband for the 20+ years of marriage, waited for a time when the child's well being would not be endangered. Had she waited too long? Could she ever regain her reputation? No longer was she the only one hurting but now her child felt the uygliness. She feels she must hold her head up and fight---after 10 years---after--after------------
What about this---readable??

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Six Months Gone and Not a Word Recorded

This may not have been the most exciting 6 months in history but far more so than my writings indicate. In the last month I have been to Atlanta, GA., Columbia, and Giles County, TN and I spent a day or two in Covington, TN.

On August 9th I flew to Atlanta to be with my son, Emory, when he had jaw surgery. His girl of 8 years, Emily Edwards, had to work the Friday morning of surgery. Emily drove us to the the hospital leaving 5 minutes or less before Emory was taken back for surgery. She left work in time to pick us up from the hospital 3 to 4 hours later. I ran a few errands Friday afternoon while she stayed with Emory.

Since we were unsure how Emory would feel after his surgery we were unsure of what type care he would need. His care consisted of Em and Em, as I call them, nestled on the couch watching TV. An occasional run for food was made to get Emory out of the apartment for awhile. My role------well other than the errands was non-existent. My place --2nd women in my son's life, blatantly stated in various ways. My reaction-flight change from Monday to Sunday leaving a little hurt and angry yet happy to know Don & I had done our job. Emory had moved into an adult relationship--one that places his partner 1st and parents 2nd. I accept that this is the way it should be--that this is life. I do not like it --not one bit!!!

On August 16th, 2007 I went to Covington for Mrs Westerfield's 90th birthday. She looked so pretty in her purple suit and was as sweet as ever. It is obvious that she cared and still does care about Mary Ann's friends. Strange how one must age to understand so many aspects of life.
There were several people at the luncheon I had not seen in awhile. One being Mrs. Becky Bringle, Charlotte's Mom and the other was Velma Peepler, Susan Shoaf's aunt [Katherine's sister]. To my surprise neither one had a clue who I was upon sight-----Mrs. Bringle knew immediately when told my name but I am not convinced Aunt Velma ever understood. So much for being unforgettable!!

The luncheon was wonderful and great fun. Mary Ann, Anne McCall, June & I were all in the same class together. Memories of slumber parties, ghost stories, smoking grape vines, smoking cigarettes, riding bikes, driving cars, and on and on surface new each time we get together. Some memories we remember differently but a surprising number we all remember the same. One that June and I never forget is my rejection of her when she moved to Covington in the 2nd grade. You see she moved from Connecticut. I thought she should go back because we did not need Yankees in my home town. To ensure she knew I meant what I said I chased her around the playground waving my baton. After several corrections by the school and others she and I became very dear friends-----of course she also became a Southern along the way!!

On the 22nd of August I went to Jackson to pick up my cousin Jim Matthews and his wife, Sharon. We then drove to Columbia, Tn to their daughter's home. We spent Wed & Thurs nights there returning Friday. I went to Giles county researching genealogy on Mother's family for the day Thursday. We arrived at Mary Jane and Lee's in Columbia about 5 or so. Their home is beautiful and they were ever so gracious. It was a wonderful experience for me since I tend to live a life of stress. They are laid back. I felt no tension --no one got upset over non-issues as happens here. I had forgotten what it was like to express an opinion and have others agree or question nicely--[agree mostly]. When we left I felt more like me and more relaxed than I have in years.
Mary Jane has always been a favorite of mine. She kept Emory a time or two and he adored her. She and Lee impressed me with their parenting skills --quiet, calm, loving, and nurturing. The children well behaved. Never did I hear or think would ever hear anything close to 'Damn it, Emory--I said....>>>>>'.
Lee, who is an orthopedic surgeon, is down to earth, social and easy to be around. I felt so comfortable, welcome and safe. Yes safe----what better place for me to visit with my bones [or lack of] than the home of an orthopedic surgeon !!!
I loved having the time with Jim and Sharon. Each time I am with them I tell myself I will not go so long without visiting again, but I do. Jim and I are the youngest grandchildren, 10 months apart, and 6 to 7 years or more younger than the rest. We were always close but with adulthood and settling in our worlds -his in Jackson and mine in Memhis, - we have drifted apart. Yet when I see him I feel as if we are as close as ever. That's what family is all about I supppose. I enjoyed every minute of the trip and would repeat it again tomorrow in a wink.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Dorothy Flowers was 100 years old on March 2nd!!!

Dorothy Flowers is my 2nd cousin once removed according to the geneology relationship charts. To me she is one of the most remarkable people I know. The picture I included was taken at the celebration of her birthday on March 8th at Paulett's. We are all family. What fun we had--to the tune of 3 hours sitting, eating, and talking. As I was dragging out I noticed Dorothy simply prancing in front of me. How I admire her physical and emotional strength.

She was one of 2 children. Her brother died in his 50ths. Life is indeed strange. She grew up in Tabernacle, TN which is outside of Covington in Tipton County. When we asked her how long it took her to travel to Covington, which is where she went to school, she answered with "By buggy or Car?". By BUGGY or CAR!!!
We then had so many questions about traveling by buggy we never did learn how long the trip took. Seems she, her brother, and another young person rode in her family's buggy. Of course they had a driver. The driver lived on her family's cotton land.

At some point she boarded in Covington as did my father. He lived in the opposite direction outside of Covington for a time. My father had 2 sisters, Lyna & Sara. Aunt Lyna, Aunt Sara, and Dorothy spent time visiting in each other's homes. She told us of the night my Aunt Sara was to marry. Her husband-to-be was called home because of his father's death. Uncle Boots was from East TN. Dorothy described how Aunt Sara cried all night saying "OH what if Boots doesn"t come back?"--"Do you think he will come back Dorothy?'' --"What if he doesn't?" Of course Uncle Boots did return. The wedding took place. They had many years and to the best of my knowledge a very happy life together. Yet now as I remember Aunt Sara I will visualize a young women who feared her marriage would never take place and feel for her that night so long ago.

We all know that one can never be sure when immediate family members are sharing with you whether events told are padded or not. With Dorothy it is different. She was not a sibling to our parents plus she is the only one remaining of our parents, Aunts, and Uncles. There is no one to be unhappy about what she shares with this part of the family. A sad fact but certainly a freeing one. Stories from Dorothy provides me with some insight and understanding of those most important persons in my life whom I knew as older with lots of authority. Doroty's stories allow me to see them more as people-as young people with dreams and plans just as I have had. I wonder why we must age before becoming aware of just how human our parents were? I suppose we need our own experiences and others' stories before the picture starts to complete itself.

Another thought of a lighter note that that most delightful day has brought to mind--- Who will be here outside of siblings, nieces, and nephews when I am gone to pass on stories to my child or grandchildren?? Are we friends?? If not-do they at least like me? How can I learn who it will be so I can be friends?? Make them like me!!

As my son says I can always find something to worry about!!

Friday, February 23, 2007

My Thoughts on Quotes of Feb. 19, 2007

These three quotes have a similar, if not the same, meaning as I understand them. We must each work toward a 'better us' in order to have a better, kinder world. It is counter productive to react with anger to the discourteous behavior which is rampant today. Yet a reaction of anger is exactly what I feel when someone lets a door go in my face, cuts my path off without an "Excuse Me", or demands an action from me instead of making a request followed by please. To offer help when someone drops a package--to comment on how precious a child is--to hold a door open for someone behind me regardless of age,sex, or race are non-questionable actions for me. To withhold judgement of those people who do not do these things I find next to impossible.

The realization that judging others because of what I consider their inadequacies discounts "my good deeds" has been a shock. The truth often is. How do I know that these people I am judging so harshly were ever even taught to behave as I think they should? How do I know that a tragedy has not occurred in their life causing them to be all but blind to others around them? Who the Hell do I think I am to judge anyone for anything?? That is what these three quotes are saying--that the only person I have the right to judge is myself with the hope that I am improving my personal self daily. Seems if that were to be the goal for each of us the world would be a better place for all.

How do you understand the quotes??
Do you agree with me?

Monday, February 19, 2007

Feb. 19, 2007--Quotes to think about

Today I am going to record a few quotes I have gathered.
I will not write my thoughts relating to them until later due to lack of time at present. I hope others will jot a note or two expressing their thoughts in regard to these quotes. This would be a wonderful way to start a "Do you think what I think?" discussion.

"Let him who would move the world, first move himself."

"Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be
___since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be."
Thomas Kempis

"There is nothing noble in being suprior to some other person.
True nobility is being superior to your former self."
Hindu Proverb

Any comments------

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Feb. 17, 2007

Today has been a most fun day. June, a childhood friend, and I went up to our hometown to see Mary Anne, whom I have not seen since high school. Another childhood friend, Anne, met us as well. June and Anne live in MS. I live in Memphis. Mary Anne being the adventurous one, lives in San Francisco. We met at Mary Anne's mother's house for a delicious lunch and an afternoon of 'Do you remember?' Oh--the things we did remember!!

Our hometown had a population of 6,000 at best. We had a freedom that no longer exists. Everyone knew everyone but most importantly everyone knew our parents. In those days, as may hold true places today, knowledge of and access to one's parents by the populous was a deterrent to delinquent behavior. Yet we did our share of mischief. We had 3 in-door movie theaters--the Ruffin, Rizt, and Gem and 1 drive-in, the Raco. We had dances in the basement of the Presbyterian church after football games. Any other past time activities were up to our imaginations and means.

We knew in early elementary school that only the county school children attended the in-door movies on Saturdays. We did the proper thing--gathered at each others houses on Sat. The movies we went to were on Fri and Sunday nights. Movies rotated so that there was a 'good'movie on Friday changing to B Westerns on Sat back to a different 'good' movie on Sunday. Mattered little what was showing since few of us ever managed to see a complete movie without someone or all being kicked out. We viewed the theater as our social gathering spot which to our dismay was not the view of the manager. He did have the upper hand. We did have the power to make him miserable if we 'took a disliking' to him. We disliked more than one.

Exactly how we came up with our system of boyfriend-girlfriend acknowledgement I am not sure. Possibly it was a pass down from older groups. Possibly it was an universal behavior. Regardless of its beginnings our Friday night tradition was for the girls to arrive at the movie before the boys. We filed in sitting every other seat. The boys as if on cue would then enter filling in the vacant seats. If you did not have a boyfriend there was always the chance that one or both seats next to you would be left vacant. God forbid!! You then had to move over --No doubt the worse thing that could happen to a 6th, 7th or 8th grade female. The humiliation was heavy to bear.

It did not take over once, maybe twice, of my having to make the dreaded seat move before I came up with a solution. Two of my closest friends were among the most sought after. I simply made sure I was sitting one seat away from either Susan or Judy and on perfect nights I managed to sit in between. Because those seats on either side of these particular friends were always taken it was a given that I would be sitting by a boy. Trust me it saved face!!!

Saving face to appear popular is not left behide in elementary school. I fear it follows most of us through life. To be different is to be in that one seat over with no one by you and it is in most cases undesireable. We cater to peer pressure from birth to death always seeking the approval of others. Total maturity and inner peace cannot be reached until we seek the approval of ourselves and of our God and not that of others. Unfortunately I am still a child.

Did you have similar 'traditions'?